Selections from Chapter 3: (Click here for full text)

 God the Reluctant Divorcee

The following is not a true story! A man (let’s call him Fred) went to a cheese and wine function where he was cornered by a church minister wearing a very tall clerical collar. Fred was nervous and mumbled to the minister that he wasn’t really a religious person. Unfortunately this appeared to make the minister even more interested in him, so Fred was relieved when they were interrupted by a lady with a tray of drinks. Gratefully, Fred took a glass, but then the minister sniffed the tray suspiciously and said to the lady in an embarrassingly loud voice: "I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol!" Poor Fred, realising that he had done something wrong but not sure what it was, put the drink back on the tray and said: "I’m very sorry – I didn’t know there was a choice."

We can laugh at this because adultery is so much a normal part of modern life. We are aghast when some countries punish adultery with imprisonment or even the death penalty, but in the ancient Near East adultery was always a capital offence and often the husband was expected to carry out the punishment. Even suspected adultery resulted in a trial by ordeal in the Temple. The woman had to drink a special mixture which supposedly only harmed the guilty (see the details in Num.5). In much of the ancient world adultery was regarded as seriously as murder and although we may not put adultery in the same bracket as murder today, it can certainly kill a marriage.

In the Old Testament if someone was found to have committed adultery their punishment was not always the death penalty but it did result in the death of a marriage.

The words "some indecency" in this text could be more literally translated "a thing of nakedness" or "a cause of sexual immorality" and it most likely refers to "adultery". Some say that this sexual immorality could not have been ‘adultery’ because adulterers were killed (Lev.20.10), however the death penalty was not always carried out since Old Testament law was not applied uniformly throughout its history. This is God’s lovingly realistic way of dealing with the consequences of human sinfulness: the victim of adultery should have the choice of whether to end the marriage or not.

Adultery is not, of course, the only sin that can end a marriage. Many marriages are killed by neglect or abuse. Christians today accept that the Bible allows divorce for adultery but often believe that it does not allow divorce for reasons such as physical or emotional abuse; or when a man withholds money from his wife, or stops her going out; or when a wife neglects the children and leaves them filthy and starving. This has led to Christians feeling confused and concerned because they conclude that God isn’t interested in such things; these issues don’t seem to touch his heart. But why? Why is adultery more valid a reason for divorce than cruelty? Why wouldn’t God allow divorce in these situations? And why wouldn’t a victim be allowed, at the very least, the choice of being able to leave such the marriage?

More in this chapter...

We have seen that in the Old Testament marriage is a contract, so it can be ended if one party breaks the stipulations which were agreed in it, but the only person who has the right to end a contract is the victim of broken promises. They can decide to continue or they can decide that enough is enough. The Old Testament therefore gives us some very practical laws on divorce. A person cannot divorce their husband or wife simply because they want to, but only if their spouse had broken their marriage vows. Divorce is not compulsory; the innocent partner also has the choice to forgive and carry on in the marriage.

Imagine the situation if Mrs Hopeful had married Mr Oddjob instead of employing him. They promised to feed, clothe, share conjugal love and be faithful to each other. And imagine what would happen if he started hitting her or spending all the housekeeping money. Would she have the right to end the marriage contract? Under Old Testament law – yes. Or imagine what would happen if she started taking lovers and spending his money on them. Would he have the right to divorce her? Under Old Testament law – yes.

In the sad reality of this world, a marriage contract or covenant can most certainly be broken by a partner who breaks their marriage vows. The Old Testament is aware of human sin, and has practical laws to deal with its consequences, and we will see that there is nothing to suggest that the New Testament is any less practical. We will see in the chapter 5 that Jesus recognises the necessity of divorce, but says that we should avoid it whenever possible.