Selections from Chapter 10: (Click here for full text)

 Is Remarriage Adultery?

Don’t re-divorce, because ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’

We have dealt with Jesus and Paul’s teaching about remarriage after a Biblically valid divorce, but we are now faced with another question. Does a person whose divorce was not Biblically valid have to stay unmarried for the rest of their life? – didn’t Jesus say that remarriage after an invalid divorce was committing adultery? And what if you have already got married after an invalid divorce? Are you supposed to get divorced from this new marriage because remarriage is not allowed?

Joseph's plan to divorce Mary

Nativity plays are invitations to disaster. You will probably be familiar with the story of how the little boy playing the innkeeper got his revenge for not being given the part of Joseph. He opened the door with a triumphant smile: "Of course, there’s room – come on in!". Or how about the Joseph who disgustedly looked inside the inn door and replied, "I wouldn’t let Mary stay in this dump anyway – we’ll be much better off in the stable." Another church in north London decided to add authenticity by using a real oil lamp and real straw. Predictably, a child knocked over the lamp which set fire to the straw, and the authenticity of the scene had to be sacrificed by the use of a modern fire extinguisher. As a local newspaper reported, "no children were hurt but baby Jesus melted."

The real Christmas story had to cope with many more potential disasters. The wise men might have returned to Herod or his soldiers may have arrived before Jesus’ family left Bethlehem. God had to employ his angels in a role similar to that of a stage prompter in order to avoid these disasters. The first potential calamity to be averted by an angel was when Joseph nearly divorced his betrothed wife Mary for her seeming infidelity. Joseph considered using an ‘Any Cause’ divorce and chose this type of divorce for the best of reasons – he wanted to avoid putting Mary to shame in a public court (Matt.1.19). But as we saw in chapter 5, Jesus taught that the ‘Any Cause’ divorce was invalid and so the first nativity story almost started and ended with an invalid divorce!

More in this chapter...

An invalid divorce for valid reasons

Invalid divorce for no good reason

Preachers' rhetoric

No-one said: Get divorced again

Invalid divorces before conversion

Deciding innocence or guilt

To conclude: Divorce is forgivable

We have seen that the sin of marriage break-up is very serious but God forgives a repentant divorcee just as he forgives all other sinners. That does not mean that there will not be consequences to suffer as a result of this sin – because all divorces cause suffering and the suffering from a marriage break-up can last a lifetime – but it does mean that the consequences of the sin can stop getting worse. Therefore a remarried divorcee should not divorce his or her new partner, because this would be the cause of even more suffering. Interpreting Jesus’ words in this way is as erroneous as concluding that we should cut off parts of our body that cause us to sin.

Our God is a loving Father who knows the failings of his children. He knows the foolish and self-destructive things we do and he helps us to prevent them and brings healing afterwards. He offers us wisdom in his Word, warning us not to break marriage vows, then he tells us to reverse our foolishness if it is still possible. And even when it is no longer possible to put right the wrong which we have done, he still offers us forgiveness and leads us forward.


Next chapter...

Chapter 10: Promises, Promises